It took me four long years to summon the courage to make a fresh start. Living next door to my ex-husband, I found myself clinging to the familiarity of the past, knowing that it held me back. I marketed and remarketed the house but then made excuses and backed down; I couldn’t let go.
When I decided to study therapy, I didn’t realise how much it would empower me. I stepped outside myself and looked in, realising that I didn’t have to feel this trapped. This helped me to stand true to myself, and when I finally decided to move house, I literally moved into a new life.
My safe place
Setting up my therapy room in my new garden symbolised my newfound independence and resilience. It was a space where I could nurture my dreams and ambitions, free from the shadows of the past. This newfound independence also gave me the courage to explore my own sexuality.
Meeting a new close friend was both exhilarating and daunting. It forced me to confront my barriers and open myself up to vulnerability again. Despite the risks, I couldn’t imagine my life without this person now.
Acceptance
Accepting oneself and believing in one’s own capabilities is a journey fraught with challenges, often rooted in deeply ingrained narratives from childhood. These narratives, influenced by parental messages and societal expectations, can shape our perception of ourselves and our abilities. It’s a narrative that many of us run, the belief that we are not good enough or capable of certain things.
This concept resonates deeply with the principles of person-centred therapy pioneered by Carl Rogers. Rogers emphasized the importance of core conditions such as empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence in therapy. Through these conditions, he aimed to help individuals realise their fundamental worth and potential for growth.
“I will only love you if…”
For those who have been subjected to poor conditions of worth as children, such as conditional love or approval, these narratives can be particularly damaging. Messages like “I will only love you if…” can leave lasting scars, impacting self-esteem and hindering personal development well into adulthood.
In my therapy practice, I work with individuals to challenge these ingrained narratives and foster self-acceptance and belief in their own capabilities. Whether it’s through exploring past experiences, examining current thought patterns, or building resilience, therapy offers a safe and supportive space for growth and self-discovery.
liberation
Acknowledging and accepting my sexuality was a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Disclosing this part of myself to friends and family was a moment of liberation, breaking free from the confines of societal expectations and embracing my true identity.
Growing confidence in my ability as a therapist has been a gradual process. It’s about recognising my own strengths and embracing my role in facilitating healing and growth in others.
Getting out of the comfort zone
Pushing myself out of my comfort zone and joining a touch rugby team was a challenge I never thought I’d overcome. For years, I had let the fear of not being good enough hold me back. But as I watched from the side-lines, I realised my self-doubt was the only thing holding me back. Stepping onto that field was a victory in itself, a testament to my resilience and determination.
Each step of this journey has been a lesson in courage, resilience, and self-discovery. And as I continue to embrace life on my own terms, I am reminded that the possibilities are endless when we believe in ourselves.
Learning from my clients has been a humbling experience. Each interaction reminds me of the resilience of the human spirit and the power of empathy. They inspire me to continue growing, both personally and professionally.
My journey
My journey reflects the transformative power of therapy and self-acceptance. From the decision to move house to break free from the confines of a past relationship to the courage to pursue my passion by setting up my own business, each step has been a testament to my belief in my own capabilities.