You’re looking for a therapist, where on earth are you to start?
There are adverts simply everywhere, but what sets them all apart?
How are you to understand, which one is right for you?
How can that really be conveyed, in just a line or two?
You send out fifty emails, and scroll through all the sites
All you want is to feel better, but the help has to be right.
The relationship with your therapist, is the most important thing
More important than techniques, or insights that they bring.
For when you come to therapy, you often do not know
What healthy relationships look like, and how they’re meant to go.
The therapist should teach you, and give you what you need –
Nurture, support, acceptance, and boundaries to be agreed.
Your therapist will often be someone to whom you’re drawn
That’s not usually a coincidence, we’ve both survived a similar storm.
We may have both been bullied, or cut off our family
Or perhaps we’ve been abused and controlled, would you know, if you met me?
We may both be single parents, we may both overcompensate
We may both be highly anxious and afraid of being late.
We could well be people pleasers, needing validation from our peers
And when we don’t receive it, then the feeling leads to tears.
I keep my past inside of me, the wounds are healing day by day.
I sat in that chair, where you now sit, and my therapist lit the way.
I faced my past head on, as memories, of childhood flooded back
The pain I felt, the tears I cried, as I opened up the sack.
Out came the sights of childhood, the ones no-one should ever see.
Like a movie in slow motion, it was dark, cold and scary.
The tears were falling harder now, I felt like I might burst
Please no more, it’s horrible, the pain is at its worst.
I watched as I was ridiculed, passed over and derided
That little girl needed a hug, but instead was merely chided
I saw myself getting the blame for things I had not done
I was only small, but even then, I knew that this was wrong.
Memories of abuse as an adult, came flooding back into my head
The mind games, what would they do next? My heart was filled with dread.
I had to face my anger, I had to set it down
It was going to kill me, otherwise – the weight would make me drown.
I had to find my peace, and that was not an easy ride
But the journey was not so scary, with my therapist by my side.
Gently, they held a space for me, somewhere I could feel safe.
They allowed my emotions into the room, they told me I was brave.
Their own tears went unshed, as they made space for me to cry
My story affected them deeply, but they kept their own eyes dry.
I felt their presence, holding me, it said, you’re not alone
For many months, that chair, you know, it felt like coming home.
My experience was special, it changed my life you see
And for the first time I was able to feel well and truly free.
Now I am the therapist, but I want you to know
I am a human, just like you, that’s what I want to show.
I won’t cry louder than your tears, this space is truly yours
I’ll hold back my emotions, I’ll observe the ethics and the laws.
But please, when you are sitting there, feeling open and exposed
Remember I have my own scars too, I just have to be composed.
I feel every word you tell me, I keep them deep inside
Sometimes they cut me, like a knife, but my pain I have to hide.
I’m truly fully hearing, every single word you say
And I’ll be by your side to help you, while you find a better way.
You’re not alone on this journey, I’ll help you find the light
We can step out of the darkness, and your future can be bright.
And as you walk out of my room, and we say our final goodbye
This might be the day at last, when I’m allowed to cry.
Go well, and take away with you, the lessons you have learned
You will have a brighter future, now, and this has been well-earned.
I’ll always wonder to myself, how you are getting on
We cannot switch these feelings off, even if that’s wrong.
So, when you choose a therapist, I hope this demonstrates
How invested we become, and how much your story resonates.
We are only human, and we want the best for you.
Go well, now, go and live your life, the way you’ve always wanted to.
© Emma Oldershaw, 2024
