There are so many misconceptions around therapy, so I am continuing my theme of setting the record straight. Today I am examining the following myths:-
MYTHS: Therapists want to disable you and make you rely on them, so they have you “on the hook”.
FACT: This is simply not the case, and only an extremely bad therapist would act in this way. Therapy is about EMPOWERMENT, not manipulation. Clients come to us feeling out of control – I certainly don’t want to reinforce that. We are taught to give clients the tools to move forward without our input, and when that happens, I am genuinely delighted for my clients. I don’t want them to rely on me, and if I did, well that would be a pretty messed up agenda.
MYTHS: Therapy should be a last resort.
FACT: This statement is harmful. What do we mean by “last resort”? What does that look like? Is it years of living miserably, trying to “pull ourselves together” because that is what society expects of us? Is it years of ignoring our emotions, stuffing them down deep inside? Only deciding to seek therapy when we are so broken that we cannot go on?
This is such a dangerous statement to be making. I have clients who come to me saying things have got so bad they cannot leave the house. They might have contemplated suicide. Do we really want to get to here, to this state of utter last resort, before we seek help?
It’s so damaging. By the time we reach this complete crash and burn, our bodies have taken a real physical battering. We may find ourselves jittery or fidgeting, unable to stay still or rest properly. We may be nervous and holding tension through our bodies. Sometimes it manifests in nervous tics, in food allergies, in stress related physical conditions such as hair loss.
There is a very interesting book called The Body Holds The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and it talks about what happens to our bodies when we suppress trauma and do not seek help.
Why on earth would anyone, knowing all of this, still feel like therapy is a “last resort”? By reaching out and seeking help, you are actually saying, “I matter, and I don’t want to get to crisis point or affect my physical health. I want to sort this so I can live a longer and healthier, more fulfilled life.” Look at the power in that statement.
Therapy absolutely should not be a last resort. Boy George says in his autobiography that everyone should get therapy before they need it. I couldn’t agree more. It’s the biggest gift you could give yourself. And it might just save you some more serious problems further down the line.
In my comfortable and cosy treatment room, in my garden in Dereham, lets begin a journey of empowerment. Don’t make it a last resort, make it a priority. You deserve it.
