Grey skies are above us, heavy with emptiness.
No joy, no sorrow, in these skies, no fine weather to bless.
How can these skies be so heavy and yet hold nothing at all?
Grey skies full of numbness, so no raining tears do fall.
I think I know some people, who carry grey skies in their soul
Who walk through life unfeeling, the years blur as by they roll.
These people are in limbo, they cannot see a brighter way
Their past – well, it has shaped them to see life as only grey.
It’s like someone has given them, a dull grey contact lens
So when they look upon the world, all vibrancy does end.
They cannot see the colours, emotions they cannot feel
They feel disconnected, and unable to heal.
They tell me each and every week, “that’s just the way things are”
They laugh off all their trauma with a superficial “ha-ha”.
We talk a bit about their past, and they repeat mechanically
The tales of parents who abandoned them, made them feel worthless, never free.
The tales of being shipped off to board, at a strange school when they were young
The way the other boys did laugh, if they dared to find their tongue.
The way they learned how to survive: keep quiet, head down, comply
And when that school master belts you, don’t let him see you cry.
Block out the noise, the cruel laughter, the confusion and the fear
The sense of parental abandonment, is just too big to bear.
On leaving school, they tell me, they joined the Army ranks
And of course, the Army’s motto was, don’t think, don’t feel, be blank.
When we have had our feelings and emotions cut away
When we have been told as children that there is no time for play
When we grow up in regimented, cold and dull grey boarding schools
When we cannot choose our own friends because our parents think they’re fools.
When we enter an environment, of Army discipline
Robotic is what’s called for, no room for feelings held within.
When the school master did beat us, and the other boys did grin
The colour drained before our eyes, and greyness filtered through our skin.
With greyness comes a numbness, a life devoid of feeling
A heaviness and an emptiness, co-existing until we find healing.
So, for me, grey skies have a beauty, they are very misunderstood.
We write them off as dreary, ugly, they stop us feeling good.
But in every grey sky, I can see, my clients and their strength
The grey a shield, to protect them, from feeling out of their depth.
If emotion has always felt painful, then it’s easier to ignore
To retreat behind your shield and place greyness at your core.
I see this, and I understand, for I have been there too
I feel so much affinity, for your stories, and for you.
My hope is that together, we can start to chink away
And let in a little shred of light, to permeate your grey.
To show you that emotions, are never to be feared
To walk beside you as we go, to help you feel less scared.
And if sometimes you do regress, back into your grey state
Remember this is normal, remember I will wait.
I am not here to push you, or make you do this a certain way
I am here to walk beside you, as we thaw your fears away.
As we let in some emotions, gently, slowly, that’s the way
But remember, I will always see, the beauty in your grey.
(C) Emma Oldershaw, 2025
